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19 September 2006 @ 10:35 am
Do you know Master Doug Harris? Did you ever go to The Sanctuary Of A Dark Angel in Atlanta?....Did you know Master Doug had a stroke?
Offering more than mere respect for our eldersCollapse )
13 September 2006 @ 04:10 pm

In the Marketplace books (this is _not_ a plug), Anderson talks about slaves "seeing through walls".   That it is possible to learn a person's habits and catalogue them, thus making it seem as though the slave knows exactly what is going on with the person at all times.  There's more to it than that; it's listening for clinks of plates and cups, the tread of a person's feet on the stairs, etc.  It's having your senses incredibly aware at all times.

But I always had trouble understanding the first part of that.  An individual's habits vary so widely.  Perhaps I have trouble understanding because I really do not have so many habits.  My mind changes a lot, often last minute.  I would be a bitch of an owner for any slave.  Certain things stay the same, yes.   For instance: I always have coffee in the morning.   However, when and how changes.  Most mornings, I have coffee right here in my room.  Yes, I always use the same mug, and yes, I always put creamer in it.  But occasionally, I decide to treat myself and buy coffee at school.  Nothing dictates this but my mood and my whim.   What would this mean for a slave?  I guess a few wasted pots of coffee a month.  Or no wasted coffee, as I could call out  "Don't make coffee this morning."  But that would be inconvenient, and conflictingly, I do not like to waste coffee. 

In The Trainer, Joan gets reprimanded because she does not pick out the correct combination of shirt and tie for Michael.  Michael states that (paraphrase) he feels bad that Joan had gotten reprimanded; because what he picked for himself every day really didn't have a rhyme or reason.  It is stated that Anderson had never seen that shirt/tie combo together, and that is why the choice was wrong.  Ok.  That makes sense.  But again, we come back to what Michael had said, and back to me:  I typically wear jeans and some form of shirt; blouse, polo, fitted t, tank, whatever.   I have absolutely no order of what I wear.  The "style" of top varies widely: from preppy to punk to college-student; I refuse to stick to a "certain" look.  And it merely goes by what I feel like wearing in the morning.  However, what I wear is important to me.  If I do not feel like wearing a certain pair of jeans or shirt that day, I will feel odd in it all day.  Some days I feel shy, so I will wear something that blends in.  Some days I feel bold, and I will wear a "brighter" outfit.  There is absolutely nothing in my attitude in the bleary wake up-in-the-morning-before-coffee that would tell a slave what outfit to pick out for me.  I do not "act" shy or bold.  It is something deep in my mind, something I do not even really think about in the moment.    What would this mean for the slave?  I suppose that they would never pick out my clothes.  I do not want to have to wear someone else's choice if I don't enjoy it, and I doubt they would often guess correctly, given the odds of things.   

I am not indecisive when it comes to decisions I have to make for other people.  When it involves someone else, I make sure I am responsible, and decide as soon as possible.  However, within the luxury of my life that is "just me", I do not prefer to form many "hard and fast" habits.  My OCD is bad enough, relaxing in certain places is necessary for my mental health.   Would this make me a bad owner?  I don't _really_ care, because I don't want to be one, but the philosophical question remains.  I don't think it is fair to say that I would be a poor owner because my habits, such as they are, vary so widely.  It is a personal choice, and not an irresponsible one.  When it came to things the slave would _need_ to know, such as traveling or appointments, I would make sure they had that information.  But why would I have to make my life more regulated, just to suit the slave?  I shouldn't have to, nor should any owner.

This brings us to my actual life as a slave, and how this correlates to my tops/owners.  They both have certain habits, sure.   For Sir, I am fairly certain I could pick out his clothing, and he would be satisfied with it.  For Ma'am, her "relaxing" clothing is fairly easy.  Leggings and a soft t-shirt.  Got it.  But work clothing for her?  I know that she also dresses (to a certain extent) to how she "feels" in the morning.  I cannot see myself being able to guess whether she "feels" like red or green, or the jungle shirt (grin).    Maybe this is something I'll never be asked to do.  But in a situation with an owner that dresses that way, I don't see how it is possible.   Either the owner is wearing something they don't want to, or the slave is wrong half the time.  And that is not a healthy pattern. 

Certain habits I've got down pat.  But that is more "household" stuff.  Set the table with Sir starts dinner.  Offer drinks right after dinner.  Make coffee in the morning.   Open the door when the car pulls in the driveway.  But these do not depend on personal habits.   It's not a problem, here's a for instance:  Ma'am does not have a set pattern about what she drinks when she comes home from work.  It is one of three things:  diet ginger ale, diet coke, or water (because she is working out).  If she is working out, she will say "I am working out,", but the other is harder.  Usually, it's the ginger ale.  But sometimes, for no set reason that I have been able to decipher, her choice is coke.  Maybe it is because she feels she wants the extra boost of caffeine.  But if she is tired, she does not "act" tired.  She proceeds in the same business-like way until she gets to a point she feels she can relax, which is usually after dinner.  Maybe it is because it is what her taste buds desire.  But you see, I would not assume to simply bring her a glass of either.  I would like to.  It would be nice, maybe, to not have to ask.  But I do have to ask, because I know when I want coke, I want coke.  And not ginger ale.   We've got it down to a fairly simplistic exchange "Can I get you a drink?"  "Yes."  "Caffeine or no?"  "No".   The responses vary a little, but it's easier than her having to say the full drink name, and it's a nice little ritual that lets me feel I know her habits.  But again, this is where the Anderson method, in some ways, doesn't work.  I guess the solution here is that the owner knows that they do not always prefer a certain drink, so they have a silent agreement with the slave that the slave will always ask.  But this applies to many, many other aspects of our lives together. 

I _want_ to be able to see through walls.  I want to very, very badly.   I want to know exactly what drink to get, when to start the shower, or whatever other rituals come up in our daily lives as we get to know each other, owners and slave.  But in many ways, I simply don't see how this is possible. 

There are certain things that I didn't understand before that I do now.  For instance, I did not understand the difference between the sound of a full or empty coffee cup/drink glass hitting the table.  That's something I've got, now.  I did not understand that you really can "hear" when someone's fit hits the front step, or rather, you have the timing exactly down for how long it takes from the slamming of the car door to when someone would reach the front step of their house.  Some things I have found out through practice, and only could have found out through practice.  But other things, I simply can't see how I would ever, ever guess.  Ma'am and Sir have been together over 20 years, and they occasionally still guess wrong.  Granted, their relationship is fairly equal, so neither is striving to learn the other as a slave would learn their owner, but I think there are simply too many variables in a person's emotions and thought processes to properly predict some actions.

I would love to hear anyone's thoughts about this that would like to comment.  I'm interested in what other people think.

In case you want to see what the heck I'm talking about if you haven't read these books: (yes, this _is_ a shameless plug, and also because I made references to them): http://www.lantoniou.com/

19 August 2006 @ 12:15 pm
I love to find poems and other literature that allude to service and/or servitude, especially those written when WIITWD was not as much a part of the public landscape. I even enjoy watching The Dog Whisperer on t.v. and hear the host speak of dominance and submission with regards to pack dynamics.

So I thought I would share something from Shakespeare I fell in love with a few years ago... and thanks to likeamermaid a few months ago, I was able to rediscover it.

Being your slave what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour,
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour.
When you have bid your servant once adieu:
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought,
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose:
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of naught,
So true a fool is love, that in your will
(Though you do anything) he thinks no ill.

Sonnet LVII, William Shakespeare
Current Location: home
Current Mood: energeticenergetic
01 August 2006 @ 10:22 pm
Hello everyone,

I'm new here. I'm a twenty something queer switch who is also a bootblack. I bootblack primarily in community spaces (bars and events) and also competitively. There is a possibility I might bootblack for a Sir/Daddy/etc. intimately if I'm lucky enough to find one sometime that calls that sort of service out of me, however at this point, my main focus is enhancing my bootblacking in community spaces and events.

I enjoy the obvious: boots and bootblacking, but I'm also quite passionate about risk aware sexual health and my volunteering at the Leather Archives and Museum. Questions? Let me know.
28 July 2006 @ 02:48 pm
My Ma'am asked me to post my response and feelings concerning providing Ma'am with after care as a form of service following a really incredible play session (which I was privileged enough to observe - but not participate in) involving flogging, a night stick, 20 or so needles, knives and a whartenburg wheel (and quite a bit of blood). It was really intense for me, given the circumstances, not to mention this was the first play party I have ever been to with people I know, esp. Ma'am. I'm new to BDSM and Leather and every new experience is more incredible than before. I'm also realizing that I'm by and far more interested in so called "heavier" or "edgy" play, but this post is about my service to my Ma'am and not my preferences...
Its hard for me to even put into words how I felt that evening. I felt privelged and humbled to be allowed to observe my Ma'am bottom:
I'm touched that she trusts me enough and is comfortable enough in the relationship that we have established to allow me to see her in that space without worrying that the dynamics of our relationship are blurred or being concerned that I might see her differently. 
Providing her sevice in that way felt so touching and incredible. I felt closer to her at that time than I have ever before. I'm discovering more and more about myself and have such an incredible need to release this energy that keeps building inside of me. At anyrate, being as new as I am to this lifestyle, it was an incredibly touching moment to be able to hold and comfort Ma'am in that space. I don't think that I have the vocabulary to articulate exactly how it made me feel. 
Humbled and tender probably come the closest.
It was a truly beautiful experience and one that I hope I'll get to experience again. I feel like I know her better and have seen a side of her that she might normally not allow her bottom to experience and that alone made the experience so very tender and special. 
I am completley humbled.
28 July 2006 @ 07:45 am
Servants' RetreatCollapse )

Cross-posted to relevant communities.
27 July 2006 @ 09:12 am
Thanks to those who gave great answers to my last question. I would still love to hear more on that last topic, even if it is that you agree with what has already been said. hookerboy's answer sparked a new set of questions for me.

So, what are your feelings about protocol when you are doing Community/Event Service? Does it have a place for you? What do you get out of it? What does or doesn't for for you? How is that different from when you are doing/receiving service for/from a person? Looking for all sides on this; top, bottom and switch. Oh, and is it different from top to bottom if you are a switch?
26 July 2006 @ 11:12 am
As someone who does not really believe in most protocol beyond good hygiene and manners; I am curious as to what others get out of having protocol. What is it that does or doesn't work for you as a top, bottom or switch?
24 July 2006 @ 08:29 pm
My name is Lady Hilary, Hard Femme Top Leatherdyke living in San Jose CA. I first came into Leather in 1989, began 24/7 D/s relationships in 1994 and have not turned back.

I have a deep love of Service in all forms it takes.  I believe that Service is present on both sides of the D/s relationship and should be honored  accordingly.

I am here to learn, grow and share.